Life's greatest paradox

Hi nerds,

I salute you from San Francisco, where I’m attending the world’s largest AI engineering conference! Will share my learnings for you next week.

I’m in SF for the next month launching a new product for AI engineers with Helicone. If you’re here too, let’s chat!

The last month has been a roller coaster:

• I lost one of my closest friends to a massive stroke

• I completed my egg freezing cycle

• Went on a wedding tour through Buenos Aires and back

• I did a 30h somatic dance therapy training

• I moved to San Francisco on a hybrid basis

The paradox of grief

We are 21 times more likely to die of a heart attack the day we suffer a loss from someone we love. Talk about the power of attachment and human connection.

Grief is so hard because it’s a paradox of emotions.

The unbearable sadness, the despair, the emptiness. Caused by the expansive love, the gratefulness, the joy of memories. Something both so natural, and yet so surprising.

It’s the only constant in life. It’s what we fear most. It’s our greatest fuel.

I lost my father when I was 21 and this week has felt quite similar.

• The guilt over smiling

• The disbelief and denial

• The frustration, confusion, and even anger over what happened

• The laughs of nostalgia and expansive love

• Reminiscing the memories that come up

• The need to be with people and feel supported

Truth is, grief is never done. Our relationship with it evolves.

In moments of loss, I’ve learned to remember that:

• Death is natural, but how we live is a choice.

• Nothing is permanent, nothing is personal. We focus on being present and grateful.

• The “what ifs”, “could haves” take us nowhere. To break them, we must ask ourselves “how is this thought serving me?” and choose a new narrative.

• Like all emotion, grief takes a physical form in our bodies. Movement - both physical and emotional - is how we let go of the tenseness.

• People only die when they are forgotten. To keep them alive, we embody their essence, practice their lessons, and share our memories.

I’ll share my learnings from the AI engineering conference next week!

And If you’re in SF for the next month, let’s chat!

See you in cyberspace,

Jules 🤸🏻